If you haven't got your Christmas cake yet, don't despair. Here is Vila's special Christmas recipe to help you save the day.

Ingredients:
1 cup water, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, 4 large eggs, lots of nuts, 1 bottle scotch, 2 cups dried fruit

Method:
Sample scotch to check quality. Take a large bowl, check scotch. Repeat. Turn on mixer. Beat 1 cup butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar. Beat again. Make sure scotch OK. Turn off mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to bowl and chuck in cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If fried druit gets stuck in beaterers pry it loose with sdrewscriver. Sample scotch for tonsisticity. Sift 2 cups salt. Or something. Check scotch. Strain your nuts. Add 1 table. Add 1 spoon sugar. Greash oven. Turn cake tin 360 degrees. Try not to fall over. Beat off turner.
Cherry Mistmas!

Credits:
recipe from Jo Dainton
published in Tim Wapshott's column of The Times, 23 December 2000
picture by Claire Emery